Family

The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life.

-Richard Bach

The family you come from isn't as important as the family you're going to have.
- Ring Lardner

Even as a young child I used to dream of the perfect family. The kind where you can confide in your mom, and your dad scares all your boyfriends (out of love, not just because it's fun), you borrow your sisters clothes and gossip about your latest dates. Where, as adults, you visit each other frequently, and your kids and nieces/nephews are the best of friends and every year at holiday time you gather around the same tree and it's fun.

Thats not the family I have. I love my family, even with their faults and I hope they love me despite mine, but we are not close. I have one sibling who I DO see myself growing old with while our children play together. One. Out of five.

Chris gets very frustrated with me because I spend way to much time upset over things my family does that continues to hurt me. He'd rather I just move on and cut as much ties as I can. He doesn't like to see me hurt, and I love him for that. He cut ties with his mother for nearly 5 years because of drama. They have a decent relationship now and the drama is gone. He wants the same for me, but I have never been one who has been good at cutting someone out. They are FAMILY, it's difficult to give up completely.

I have a great non-biological family, though. It's not the same, at all, as one you are tied to - but it's still nice. Everyone deserves someone who is happy for them, and who they can confide in.

Perhaps this is why my need to have a large family of my own is so great. My children will know barely any of their cousins. My sisters kids, if she has any, will be the only ones they see regularly. She is the only one I don't have panic attacks at the idea of seeing. I hope I can somehow raise a family that is different than my own. One where everybody visits at the same time, without stress. I hope my grandkids grow up together.

Chris tells me that perhaps this is a good thing. I will be the Matriarch of my family. He is always trying to find the silver lining when I can't see one. It's hard to foster something in your family that is foreign to you.

My two best friends, and myself (I hope), are all moving away from each other over this next year. We already plan to meet up once a year or so to visit with each other. It may not be a holiday gathered around a tree, but it's still a visit with people I consider my family. I am lucky, in the regard, that I have many amazing people who I love and who loves me that live scattered across the country. No matter where we go we'll be close to someone.

Perhaps one day I'll reconnect to my other siblings - and see my parents again (it's been 4 years since I've seen either of them), but there is a lot of bad blood thats never been discussed and I fear it's that - more than anything else - that keeps us from being close.

Snack bowls

I'm so tired of earing the constant whine, "I'm hungry, can I have a snack?" 20 times a day.  So this is my solution, snack bowls!

Each bowl is labeled with a child's name. Each contains healthy snacks, enough for a two week period.  The kids have free access to them, however once the snacks are gone they will get no more until payday.  This way they will learn to "budget" themselves and I no longer hear that particular whine!

2010 Family Photo Shoot

This year we went to Portrait Studios and I loved it! They were much cheaper than Walmart and so much better.  This is the link to the whole shoot, some of the pictures are awful, but the kids are so cute.

http://www.facebook.com/#!/photo.php?pid=4309589&id=653616891

Family

The definition of "family" has been weighing very heavily on my mind.  Family is so much more than a relation by blood.  The man who raised me, my "step" father, is more a dad to me than anyone else ever was.  And even though in my teenage angst I may have said differently, he IS my dad - blood relation or not.  His family is more my family than my moms family who is related to me by blood.  When someone asks how many brothers and sisters I have I always respond that I have 4 sisters and a brother, even though two are half siblings, and two are step siblings.  To me they are all equally my brother and sisters.  I've hardly seen my family since I've moved out, and hardly speak to any of them either.  The communication I have with them is always on my part and so are any visits.  But by legal definition they are my family.

And then there is my military family - who I'm closer to than any of my legal family.  The squadron where Chris works is well aware of our health situation and have been extremely supportive about it.  Chris has been able to attend all of my appointments, drive me where I need to go, take Anthony to and from school, and PT on his own since he can't go at designated times.  His First Shirt is even trying to figure out a way to get Anthony to and from school on days where Chris is flying and can't do it.  A few years ago when Chris was deployed over Thanksgiving someone submitted our name for a Thanksgiving care package and the entire dinner was delivered to our house.  The same year someone anonymously gave us a check for some money to help out with Christmas.  After David was born we were given a 338th blanket for him from the Commanders Wife.

And then there are Sandra and Kenny.  I've spoken of them before but I don't think either realizes just how much they mean to me and my family.  Sandra has been my friend since we were first stationed here, nearly 5 years ago.  Our friendship has endured a ridiculous amount of outside drama, hardships, and emotions.  She truly is family.  We can go months without talking or seeing each other, but the second we reconnect it's like no time has passed.  I know that if I needed to I could call her up at 2 A.M. with an issue and she'd be there for me no questions asked.  I hope she knows the feeling is mutual.  Being friends with a female is so difficult for me - I generally don't get along super well with girls.  Women can be very catty, jealous, and passive-aggressive.  There has never been anything like that with Sandra.  We've never fought, or had our feelings hurt unintentionally.  She helped pull me through a really bad situation a few years ago that occurred with mutual friends of ours.  I truly do consider her family, and her children as part of my family as well.

And Kenny...well Kenny is Kenny!  He is my best male friend.  I alternate between calling him my second husband, and my 5th child.  The few things that Chris doesn't enjoy doing with me are the few things that Kenny and I share a common interest in.  Shows like Law and Order, our taste in movies, Mongolian food, Pixel Junk Monsters, and our love for Dr. Pepper.  We pretty much disagree and fight about everything else, especially politics - but it's not actual fighting and at the end of it we are still great friends.  He's a "bachelor" and lives like one so over the years I've taught him some basic kitchen information and other day to day things.  He's another person I know I could call on at 2 in the morning without issue and he'd drop everything to help us out.  And unlike a lot of men I know he is very pro-breastfeeding and very interested in a lot of the other things that Chris and I practice that may make other people blink.

These two people are the ones I can be myself around, who have seen me at my worst, and have been there for me when I needed it.  They are truly my family.