Wednesday, December 22, 2010

And life continues!

I feel as if I'm becoming myself again. For the past two years plus I have felt who I am slip away. I have watched my abilities dwindle. I lost the ability to do many things I love or enjoy doing. Cooking, baking, bread making, cross-stitching, cleaning, picking up my children, ect were all impossible tasks or made to be very painful and difficult. I knew having a wrist fusion would forever change my life, but everyone in the EDS community said it would be something positive and that I wouldn't regret it. They were absolutely correct.

I may have a large, noticeable scar. I may have lost the ability to bend my wrists, permanently. But I have gained so much back. Today I was able to open a pill bottle, with my hands. Pill bottles are the bane of my existence, especially as I know take quite a few pills a day. I normally am stuck unless Chris is home, or I've placed my pills in an easy open bottle. Today I filled my diluadid prescription and was able to open it myself!

Every day now I am able to do dishes, fold laundry, scrub down the kitchen. I can vacuum a room at a time. I can pick up my son without issue. I'm beginning to cook again, and hope to be back to baking soon. The only pain I have now is in my elbow and one of my ankles. But my head isn't consumed by it anymore. I used to feel so useless when I couldn't do anything, and now I'm starting to feel like myself again.

If there are any EDSers reading this, who struggle with whether or not a fusion is the right choice - in my experience it really really is. You may lose some ability, but you gain back so much more.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

One brace off!

On Monday I went back to the surgeon and I got the all clear to remove the brace from my left arm. It's been nearly 6 months since I've had surgery on that hand and it feels so odd to have nothing on it!  I still haven't regained full feeling in my hand, and he said it make take a year or longer to do so.  When something hits the metal plate the shivers it causes are flipping nauseating. It's also weird, my metal plate gets cold!  It will feel 2 or 3 degrees cooler than the rest of my hand.  This will be a fun winter.

Anthony restarts public school on the 6th. I am very apprehensive but we've talked it through and this is what he wants.  We'll continue homeschool in addition to his public school and keep a close eye on the issues that made us pull him in the first place.

On Christmas Santa is going to "forget" a major gift.  Chris's mom (The kids "Gigi") is coming out to visit.  Santa is supposed to bring her but will forget so Chris will have to go meet him at the airport to retrieve her.  I'm sure the kids will have a blast.   I'm honestly a bit nervous, well a lot nervous, but the last visit went well so hopefully this one does too.  She is making an honest effort to not overstep her boundaries again, and she is doing very well.  I do have to give her credit there.  I'm not sure our relationship will ever be uncomplicated again, some things you just can't erase or forget about, but I think we can have a good relationship.  I first need to learn to forgive, something that doesn't come easily to me, and to retrust - something I've never been able to do.  But for my kids sake, Chris's sake, and her sake I am trying.  Where I am now is not where I was then - so that stress is alleviated. I'm not easily pushed around, and I'm much more comfortable in my style of parenting.  I think she also knows what is at stake as we've told her that if what happens last time happens again there will be no more chances. I can't put my children through that.  I don't think it will come to that.  At this time we seem to be doing well with each other.  I'm not sure if she still feels the same way about me that she used to, and that may be part of the problem I'm having.  I'm very easy to trust people, but when you break my trust I am unable to ever trust you again.  I did trust her a lot, and that trust was broken. I'm trying, for the first time, to retrust her and it's not easy.  In the back of my mind there is always that, "does she feel the same way?" thought.  So right now I'm having a lot of anxiety - probably unnecessarily - towards her visit that I'm working through.  Thank goodness for therapy!

On an unrelated (and I mean that!) I am planning on switching to a standard book style blog in addition to this one.  I use this one as a way to "update" those I care about and those who care about me - but I am currently trying to come to term with things from my childhood/teenage years and can't do that publicly. So I may not post as much, or rather, my posts will continue to be sporadic as I try to work through what I need to work through in order to be a happier person.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Working out/small update

I'm slowly regaining use of my fingers.  I can straighten them out but can't quite make a fist yet.  I still have a long way to go in healing, and my elbow is still extremely messed up, BUT I feel sooo much better.  I'm able to do more around the house and that is something I enjoy doing so it works well for everyone.

I've been working out a lot lately.  I'm biking 2-3 times a week, doing pilates 2-3 times a week, and doing water aerobics twice a week.  I have a lot of work to do.  I need to lose three inches off each thigh, my hips, and my waist.  My core is very weakened and because of the EDS it takes so much more work to strengthen things up.  I am getting stronger though.  In three weeks I've increased my mph on the bike by a full 2 miles and upped the endurance 4 whole levels. Starting next week I'll increase my time to 45 minutes when I do the bike, and 45 minutes on my pilates/strength training days.

It's been a while since I've updated as typing was very difficult to do.  I can type again now so hopefully I'll update more.

Anthony wants to return to public school after the new year so we've been working with him and his doctors to make sure that can happen.  We'll continue homeschooling as well to ensure he is being challenged.  He is doing Tai Kwon Do now and loves it.  He goes twice a week for an hour each time, and he gets to do it with his best friend Caleb so he really loves that.

Anastasia is done with soccer for now but can't wait to start it again in the Spring.  Her last game she score 5 goals!  We are making her a soccer shelf to display her team picture and trophy.  Both her and Anthony will start swim in February.

David is talking so clear now.  He understands and follows direction pretty well.  He's still obsessed with playing with my hair. The other night he crawled into bed and I had the blankets pulled up pretty high, he pulled them down enough to play with my hair as he fell back asleep.  It's pretty sweet.

Charlie can roll both ways consistently now, finally.  No crawling yet, which I'm okay with.  He can sit unassisted for short lengths of time.  He is thinning out a lot too, which we figured would happen after 6 months.  And he's getting hair! David and Anastasia were bald for 2 years.  David JUST had his first hair cut and Charlie has nearly as much hair as him.  It's not as red as mine and Anthonys but it's not as dark as David's and Anastasia's. It's right in the middle.

All in all, everyone is doing well, and I'm on the road to getting my life back on track!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010


It's been a while - I know.  Its been very hard to type one handed.

Surgery went well.  Better than last time.  It started pretty much the same way but recovery was a lot better.  Once I can type better I will write out the full story.  Until then I'm alive and healing!

Wednesday, October 6, 2010


I totally had a new post on here but I don't see it!  Thats a tad frustrating.

Not much is really going on at the moment - or not much I care to share with the world anyway.  Some things are just better left to myself.  I'm preparing for wrist fusion number 2.  Some people think that since I know what to expect it shouldn't be so difficult.  It's the exact opposite.  The recovery has been awful! I'm not looking forward to going through that again.  I had never experienced that amount or type of pain before. I guess having your bones scraped out, broken, turned around, and then having a large metal plate with 6 screws screwed into your hand and arm is quite painful and has a long recovery.  The post swelling was absolutely awful, and I was sure my skin was going to burst open.  I guess that's a plus to having EDS, our skin stretches well to accommodate things like that.  I had my pre-op physical yesterday and the EKG came back abnormal.  The doctor thinks it was a fluke and I shouldn't worry but if the other guy he sent it to disagrees then surgery is off.  EDS can cause heart issues so of course I'm worried, but my Echo 6 months ago came back perfectly fine, so I'm holding onto that right now as a sign that perhaps this was a fluke.

My nerves are getting the better of me.  When I get nervous I tend to ramble on and on and I get a little frantic.  I noticed yesterday I'm beginning to ramble (and you can tell in this post) and I'm trying to channel all of that into something constructive, like cleaning or playing with the kids, or even exercising.

The Bear is doing well.  He's beginning to thin out some.  He has a neck now!  He's rolling all over and trying to crawl without much success.  He has also begun sitting up for about 30 seconds at a time.  Each milestone with him is so bittersweet.  He's not our last child but he is one of the last.  We've spent so many years just having babies and now that our family is ALMOST complete we are cherishing each moment a little more than we have in the past.

Anastasia is doing awesome in soccer.  She loves playing!  She is learning more and more each day and is always so eager to help with the baby or learn something. We really do hope that one day we'll give her a sister but if she ends up being my only girl I'll be so grateful that I have her.  She really is an amazing daughter.

David is all eyes.  That boy is a charmer! He is so masculine looking already too.  Anthony and Charlie are both pretty boys, but David... he's as cute as a button but there is no denying he is a boy.  He has never been called a "her" like the other two have.  He acts like a total macho man too.  He loves to build guns (ugh!) and shoot everyone, he loves to climb, and boss the dog around, and beat up his sister.  But at the end of the day he's a total mama's boy.  He's always up for a cuddle and snuggle where he'll wrap his hands in my hair and lay his head on my shoulder.  He is truly one of those kids who is either making you want to rip your hair out in frustration or you just want to love and kiss on him - there is no in between with that child.

Anthony is going through a lot at the moment and I don't feel comfortable posting it for the world to see.  He's an amazingly gifted child and astounds me daily with the knowledge he accrues on his own.  Homeschooling is going... well it has it's moments.  We are going quite relaxed with him and teaching him fundamentals and then letting him guide his own way.  Trying to be too regimented with him was causing him to refuse to work.  By giving him the ideas and letting him process it his own way he is retaining so more more and working so much nicer.  He wants to try public school out again next year, but we are hesitant.  However, we told him it was always his decision, so we may be working towards that goal around Christmas to prepare him to reenter public school next fall.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Soccer mom!

I'm officially a soccer mom.  Anastasia began soccer last week, and this post is long overdue.  Why?  Because this week has been about battling illness.  It all began with Anastasia's first soccer game.  She was too cute!

Not sure why the picture is sideways... anyways, she played great until the last 10 minutes of the game.  Then she got really fussy and clingy, something that is totally out of character.  I tried to get her to introduce herself to the only other girl on her team, and in the process of doing so she threw up.  I thought it was from heat, but the next two days her and David were throwing up, Anthony came down with pink eye (that was cleared up with Breastmilk!), and Charlie and I came down with a cold.  Unfortunately mine is settling in my ear, but the rest of the clan is feeling much better.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

David was stuck!

The other night I went out for about 1.5 hours to eat dinner with my best friend.  I seriously needed a mini break from the fighting and back talking and breaking of things.  Sandra and I, along with our youngest (my Charlie, her daughter) went to eat at this new little BBQ place "Swine Dining".  Delish!  Arriving back home became a wee bit comical.  I entered the front door to see Chris lightly tugging on David and David looking absolutely sheepish with his arm stuck in the subwoofer up to his shoulder!  All of our children have played in this thing, and a few times a year Chris takes off the back to empty it of toys that have been dumped down there.  This was the first time, however, that a child had become stuck in it.  And like the good mommy I am, I took a video.  I took three actually.  He began crying during the first one so I shut it off, the second one was just an update, and in the third he was out!

Part one

Part two

Part three

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Switched medications

I've been planning a long overdue "Back to School" post, and when I feel the energy to do so I will post it.  It will be a picture filled post of our back to school stuff.

I finally was seen at the pain clinic last week.  They've switched me to dilaudid 4 times a day with 2 additional pills for break through pain.  It's reducing the overall pain pretty well but the acute pain is still pretty bad.  The Plaquenil is beginning to work and my swelling in my elbow is going down for the first time in 2 years.  This is great, however with the swelling reduced my bones are now rubbing together all the time - this is the most disgusting feeling.  So right now I'm trying to adjust to the new meds which make me very sleepy.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Life is so short

I know we all say this, but I think this statement is said so often without realizing what it really means.  A few days ago I had the worst scare of my life.  I was rocking Charlie in the recliner and the older kids came to tell me Jovi had an accident.  Without thinking I laid Charlie on the recliner and went to clean up Jovi's mess.  I never lay my babies anywhere but in a swing/bouncer or on my king size bed away from pillows or blankets.  I wasn't thinking and I nearly paid an awful price for my lapse in judgment.  As I was cleaning I had an overwhelming urge to check on Charlie so I cleaned up and rushed into my room.  There he was with his face mashed in the back of the recliner, I could see his mouth working as he fought for air and his face was blue.  I snatched him up and he gulped air and screamed a scream I had never heard before. I don't think I've ever been so scared in my entire life.  I called Chris and he came home and I just held Charlie non stop for a few days.  Even now, I look at him and I realize how he may not be here with us had I waited just a few more seconds to check on him.  I am so incredibly lucky and I will never make that mistake again.  

A friend, an online friend but a friend nevertheless, wasn't so lucky.  Her baby, a few weeks younger than my David, died yesterday after drowning in the family swimming pool.  All it takes is just a few moments and our babies lives can be snatched so swiftly and permanently from us.  Life really is so short, and when it's taken from us it happens so quickly.

Be patient

I'm trying to remember how to change font colors on my blog page... if anyone can help me I'd appreciate it!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Cast is off!

On Monday I had my cast removed.  The skin under my cast had been coming off and was caked on, very gross!  Healing is going well.  I'm now in a removable brace for 6 more weeks, and then after that we'll discuss surgery for my other wrist and elbow.  I can now type again!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Birthday Season!

Birthday Season in our house is in full swing.  Poor Charlie, he is our outlier birthday.  Hopefully the next kid (or two) will have a birthday close to his so he doesn't feel left out.  Of course he may like having his birthday far from everyone else as he won't have to share a party with anyone.

Today is my birthday.  Everyone has that age where they just feel is OLD.  25 has always been that age for me, so I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that today I'm a quarter of a century old.  Yesterday Chris took me to Best Buy to buy my birthday gift.  A brand new laptop! And it's a very nice laptop too!  Its a gaming laptop even though I'm not a gamer - so it will be able to handle everything I need it too, which is mostly web browsing, and homeschooling.  It has a built in webcam which will be really nice when Chris is deployed.  On Saturday Chris is taking me to the movies and out for lunch and dinner.

Tomorrow Charlie turns 3 months old! I can't believe it's already been 3 months.  He is such a happy baby - as long as he's being held or played with.  It's made homeschooling hard, but I figure we won't need to go super hard until school would normally start anyway so I'm trying not to stress about it too much.

On Saturday David is turning 2!  It seems so crazy to me that it's only been 2 years since he was born.  He is such a character it seems like so much longer.  His bandage from surgery just fell off today, leaving about a 1.5 inch scar.  His favorite thing to do is walk around acting like a little monster.  Even at his worse he is absolutely adorable, and I have a feeling he'll be quite the comedian in years to come.

On Sunday Anastasia turns 4!  She alternates between being a little mommy who is an absolute joy and helper to being Miss Diva who thinks she can do as she pleases without repercussions.  One day she'll switch the laundry without even being asked, just does it because it needs to be done.  The other day it will take 12 hours to get her to clean her playroom clean and when punished we are met with, "but mommy, it's me... Anastasia!" as if that means she can't get in trouble. Which if anyone has any ideas on how to get a child to clean let me know! I've tried everything!

At the end of August Anthony is turning 6.  I've been a mother for nearly 6 years.  It's been a wonderful, crazy. stressful, loving, difficult 6 years.  Anthony is a third of his way through the years he'll spend with Chris and me.  He's turned to be an intellectually brilliant child but emotionally he can be very trying.  He has a new best friend, his stuffed white and blue dog named Bugsy.  We hear of Bugsy's amazing adventures and talents daily.  Bugsy can fly, has armor, is 28 years old, speaks like a human and eats like a human, doesn't like the dark, and has an invisible penis on his head that is so big he can reach the potty by sitting on the sink.  It's quite adorable and sometimes a little eyebrow raising.

A week after Anthony's birthday, exactly, is Chris's 27th birthday. We are so old!

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Over a month out

It's been over a month since my surgery, and I never thought I'd still be so far behind in recovery.  I can just about straighten all of my fingers, but can still not make a fist.  My arm is still swollen, and my knuckles are still bruised.  There is still a good bit of pain in my hand and wrist area too.  Typing is still painful so I keep it to a minimum.  I'm not looking forward to having my other wrist done.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Davids surgery

Today David had his hernia surgery.  It's the first time any of my children have ever had to have surgery.  We dropped the older two off at our friends house, and arrived at Childrens Hospital around 10.  I love Childrens, their set up is amazingly kid AND parent friendly.  We changed David into his hospital gown and then we went to the playroom they have set up for the kids.

He played happily for a while but then Charlie needed to nurse so we went back to the hospital room and the various doctors and nurses came in to speak with us.  Around 11:15 they gave David some Tylenol and Versed (an anti-anxiety medication).  He started acting super goofy, and the nurse brought him some toys to play with as we couldn't leave the room at that point.  Around noon they took him down for the surgery and Chris, Charlie, and myself went to the Cafeteria to get some lunch.  It was so weird just being the three of us.  I forget how easy it is with just one, or even two kids.  We ate lunch quickly because he said that the surgery wouldn't take long.  Around 12:45 the surgeon came to speak with us.  He told us that they didn't need to pull David's testicles down as they dropped as soon as they put him under, so he only had the one incision.  Surgery went great!  About 30 minutes later they wheeled David back to us.  A nurse was carrying him and cuddling with him.  She said he woke up crying but as their is one nurse assigned to each child during recovery she was able to cuddle him and he calmed down.  She handed him to me and I rocked him back to sleep.
I had to hand him to Chris after about 20 minutes because Charlie needed to eat again.  He cried for me which broke my heart but Chris got him back to sleep after a few minutes.  A half hour later we woke him up to get him to drink.  He loved his Apple Juice! We don't drink juice so he's never really had it, so it was a big treat to him.  They gave him a teddy bear to take home too, which we've named "Beast" as his other lovey is a "Baby Belle" doll.  He's been sleeping all evening, waking up and crying for me every once in a while.  As soon as I cuddle him he goes back to sleep.  The cuddling is nice. I don't get much cuddle time with him since Charlie is always needing to be held or fed.  The doctor says he should be up and running around by tomorrow!

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Lapbooks, mini offices, and work boxes.

I recently discovered, on my homeschooling boards, the awesomeness of Lapbooks, mini offices, and work boxes.  I've been hard at work, or as hard at work as someone can with one arm, revamping our homeschooling setup to include these.  I have a huge stack of lapbooks and file folder games I'm planning to make once I have more lamination sheets, but already we've begun using quite a bit of them in our schooling.  The kids really seem to love it.

These are the workboxes.  Each subject of the day has a folder that corresponds.  Once the child has completed folder 1 they take the velcro one off the folder and adhere it to the front of their box.  It keeps them on task as well as myself, and it makes it more fun for them. The kids REALLY love this system.

Mini Offices are facts-at-a-glance reminders.  I made mine a little more interactive. (sorry the pictures are blurry, they were taken with my cell phone)

Anthony's mini-office
He has a cheat sheet for currency that includes the President, the amount its worth, and the image of it's front and back. He also has a US Map, a cheat cheat of the Continents and Oceans, a number chart, the numbers in Spanish, Gallon/pints/ect conversion, the seasonal order, the States Capitols and their Abbreviations, and an envelope to store his spelling words.
On this side he has the months of the year, the days of the week, punctuation rules, the sign language alphabet, how to write  book report (each part is velcroed so he can un-velcro when he completes it), The 5 "w"s, his colors in Spanish, the roman numerals, and his word wall words are in the envelope.

Anastasia's is very similar.

Hers has the right and left, alphabet sign language, number charts, the seasons, shapes, the ABC Blends, roman numerals.

On the other side it has her numbers which has a velcro piece with corresponding dots. 
It also has a color chart with more colored velcro pieces as well as a color sheet cheat.  It has the coins with their amount and the coins velcro one in the right spot. It has a cheat sheet for "family words".
It also has a money cheat chart, the days of the week and months of the year, and another number chart that shows place holders.

As far as lapbooks, we have a few going but I'm not going to take that many pictures.  Anthony is reading Stuart Little so he has that lap book right now.

Each chapter has a corresponding book.

And Anastasia is doing each letter of the alphabet.

And then, just because, Charlie after eating.

Friday, July 2, 2010

Snack bowls

I'm so tired of earing the constant whine, "I'm hungry, can I have a snack?" 20 times a day.  So this is my solution, snack bowls!

Each bowl is labeled with a child's name. Each contains healthy snacks, enough for a two week period.  The kids have free access to them, however once the snacks are gone they will get no more until payday.  This way they will learn to "budget" themselves and I no longer hear that particular whine!

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Just a quick update

It's very difficult typing one handed, so this may not be the best post.

Wednesday, the 23rd, I woke up super nervous.  I took a shower while the rest of my family ate super delicious, yummy bacon and eggs.  I was hungry, but had to fast for the surgery, and I was too nervous to eat anyway.  Pants, our babysitter, arrived with his monster of a dog around 9:15.  Jovi loved his dog and followed him around the whole time.  It was hilarious to see our puppy following a huge mastiff around.  I sat down before we left, and per instructions, scrubbed my arm and hand with soap for 15 minutes. We left the house around 10 and ran to Bakers really quick to pick up a pacifier for Charlie.  The plan being Chris trying to pacify him as long as possible before giving him a bottle.  We arrived at the hospital right around 11 and checked in.  Shortly after we were taken back to the pre-op room and I nursed Charlie one last time.  They gave me this ridiculous Bear Paws gown that actually hooks up to a heating system during surgery.  It was very bulky and uncomfortable.  They started my IV with antibiotics and the anesthesiologist came back in to talk to me.  Same lady as before.  Very nice.  She could see how nervous I was and gave me a mild sedative to calm down.  She also assured me that being awake unknowingly is very rare - that was honestly one of my biggest fears. 

A short while later I felt extremely itchy and jittery - like I needed to run around.  They came to check on me and told me my whole body was red.  I was having a negative reaction to the antibiotics called "red man syndrome".  Its not quite an allergic reaction - its just a sensitivity.  They told me next time I'd need the antibiotics much slower, and then they gave me some benadryl.  I'm not ure what was causing it but my entire body became restless.  I started trying to curly my body into a very tight ball and then I'd release and stretch out as far as I could.  This went on for a little while.  Then my surgeon arrived, a few minutes late, at 1:15 and told them to take me to the OR.  They wheeled me to the OR, the nurse anesthetist asked me a question and the next thing I remember is being shaken and a nurse telling me to wake up.  I was in recovery, a huge room filled with patients in the first stage of recovery.  My arm was on fire and I remember I started crying.  The lady next to me had had abdominal surgery and was crying too.  She asked me if I had abdominal surgery too and I was in so much pain I could only shake my head.  The nurse maxed me out on fentanyl  and dilaudid but neither did anything.  My body had built up such a tolerance to pain meds.  She told me if she had taken that much she would have stopped breathing.  Around 4:30 they brought me to my private recovery room with Chris and Charlie.  Chris said Charlie only had one bottle and he had fought him for an hour to take it!  Best news!

My stay was very painful.  We stayed overnight and they wanted us to stay another night but we didn't have a babysitter the second night.  Next time we will plan two nights.  I was originally given 1 mg of morphine every 30 minutes but then they put me on a pump that gave me 3.0 mg/8 min.  They finally upped me to 3.5/8 min.

Recovery is going okay, both mentally and physically.  I have my good days and my bad ones.

I have been uploading all of my photos to this public album.!/album.php?aid=188498&id=653616891

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Really Nervous

Today is the first time I've let my nerves get the best of me.  I'm extremely nervous over the surgery.  I look at Charlie and it pains me that I'll be separated from him for hours tomorrow.  I will be asleep and unaware of time passing, but Charlie will not.  He's not going to understand why mommy isn't there for him.  My other kids aren't going to understand why they can't really be around me for the next week as I lay in bed concentrating on not moving my arm at all.  And gosh forbid something goes wrong - none of my children are old enough to really have memories of me.  And then I'm nervous about relearning how to do everything as I adjust to a life without a wrist.  And as petty as it sounds, seeing a very large scar on the back of my arm for the rest of my life - signaling to the world that something has happened to me and inciting questioning stares or a request for an explanation.  I broke down a little while ago holding Charlie and apologizing to him for tomorrow.  Hopefully he does well with Chris and Chris does well with him.  Hopefully he doesn't have issues with the bottle/pacifier and I hope beyond hope he doesn't prefer them to nursing.  I hope I get through surgery without any mishaps, and recovery goes smoothly.  I hope my children understand why mommy is in bed unable to cuddle them or play with them. Tonight is the last night of my life ever being able to bend my wrist again - its something I once took for granted and now am facing a lifetime of never doing it again.

Monday, June 21, 2010


The quality is quite low because they are cell phone pictures, but this is the way my wrist looks now.  In two days time it will never look this way again.  It will no longer be bent to the side, as it won't be able to bend at all, and there will be a massive scar down the back of my arm.  Ignore the laundry pile, Chris is a bit behind in the folding and it's one of the few chores I can no longer do.

Pre surgery jitters!

In less than 48 hours my left wrist will be permanently fused, leaving me with a forearm and fingers, but also with no more pain.  I'm having conflicting thoughts about this.  I'm excited to no longer be in pain, but nervous to lose the last bit of function in my wrist.  My wrist has gotten even worse over the past few weeks.  Instead of just being bent back, a few weeks ago I popped a bone in my forearm and now my wrist is cocked to the left as well.  Tonight I will take pictures and post them, mainly I would like pictures of the way my wrist looks now because after surgery I will have a sizeable scar running down the back of my arm.  Never again will my wrist look the way it does now, and I am going to miss that. I will not be able to post the first week of recovery as I won't be allowed to use my fingers at all.  The plan is to stay in bed with Charlie and my LMN movies I have on the DVR - if Chris will be kind enough to put the DVR in the bedroom.  If we can find the battery charger we'll upload pictures of everything next week after the first week of recovery.

Sunday, June 20, 2010


I'm not sure why, but I think we too often deal with people who bring nothing positive to our lives because we feel some obligation to do so.  I'm not sure why we feel that obligation.  Perhaps it makes me a bitter person but I'm done with negativity.  If you bring negativity to my life I will no longer have you in my life - regardless of why you are in my life in the first place.  My life is too stressful as it is, I don't need additional stress.  And I certainly don't need people I hardly know adding more stress or telling me how to get further in life :)  I'm not the one living at my in-laws house unable to support myself.  Low blow? Sure. Am I being negative myself right now? Yup.  And this is why I'm cutting negative people out of my life.  They don't make me a better person, they make my negative characteristics come out.  I have enough loving and caring people in my life that I don't need the others around.  So this will be the last post about negative people.  From now on my outlook is cheery and the people I allow to share my memories with will partake in that cherriness or they will not partake at all.

Friday, June 18, 2010

A whole bunch of stuff...

It seems as though when one thing in your life is thrown out of balance everything else seems to follow.  I've been meaning to compose my thoughts here, but I'm having a hard time thinking clearly with everything going on.  I apologize if this post comes off as harried.

Surgery is set and approaching quickly.  As the 23rd nears I'm becoming more and more nervous.  This isn't a minor surgery, it's completely life altering.  Every day that passes now is the last day of the week that I'll have the ability to bend my left wrist.  With that said, surgery couldn't come soon enough.  I've had to increase my pain killers by quite a few just to get through the day without being a total mess from pain.  
I've been battling with the hospital I'm having my surgery at over my rights to breastfeed following surgery.  They told me that I couldn't nurse for 24 hours following surgery.  I know this is false, and old school thinking.  New studies show that as soon as mom is awake and alert enough to nurse she can.  I explained this to the Robin, the scheduler at my surgeons office and she told me I needed to be "realistic" and that "nursing isn't that important".  She also told me that in 20 years of working she's never come "this close" to losing it on a patient before.  Finally she contacted a liaison at the hospital I'm having the surgery at for me to discuss this with.  Unfortunately, Sue is quite similar to Robin and I continued to get an ear full.  I told Sue that I'd be more than happy to have my IBCLC, Debbie, contact her.  She said that was fine, I'm assuming in an attempt to get me off the phone, and hung up.  Debbie called her and Sue refused to speak with her because of HIPPA!  So I called Sue back and this sparked a few more phone calls between us hashing this out.  At one point she told me they'd cancel my surgery if I tried to nurse Charlie.  I told her I wanted documented evidence that this was harmful to my son, and if it was for liability I would sign a waiver.  I said I had no issues coming up there in person with the studies in hand, my IBCLC, and a representative from the LLL.  Sue promised to get back to me.  A week and half later I still hadn't heard from her and she wasn't returning my phone calls so Debbie finally got her on the phone and asked Sue to set up a meeting between us and the anesthesiologist.  At first Sue said I wouldn't be able to speak to the anesthesiologist until the day of my surgery, but at Debbies urging she agreed to set up an appt.  This morning I had my meeting with them.  I pre-registered for the surgery, they showed me around, and then they brought in the anesthesiologist that is going to be there for my surgery.  She was awesome, and assured me that I would be able to nurse as soon as I wanted to.  There was no issues at all.  I felt bad that Debbie accompanied me to the appt, but am very happy with the outcome.  This was my first real adventure in Lactivism and certainly gave me a taste of what I'll do some day as an IBCLC.

So as all this approaches we also find out that David has a pretty severe hernia and is going in for surgery himself on the 9th.  Charlie is still having breathing issues.  And as a family we are dealing with some personal issues concerning one of our children that is taking an extreme emotional toll on us.  I'm hoping that the Karmic universe gives us a break here soon.

Monday, May 31, 2010

Day One of Homeschooling

Today was our first day of Homeschooling.  It went really well, and went much quicker than I originally expected.  Except for a few minor melt downs we had absolutely no issues either.  We started with independent journaling.  Writing and journaling are skills we are really trying to instill in Anthony, and so far he really seems to enjoy it.  For Anastasia we got her a sketch pad and she draws pictures during journaling time.  After breakfast (a nice primal breakfast of eggs and steak!) we moved onto Language Arts.  Anastasia seemed really disinterested in sitting still today so I concentrated on Anthony most of the time.  We began reading, "Stuart Little" today, and Anthony read aloud the first chapter.  He did amazingly well and only needed help on 2 or 3 words.  Afterwards I quizzed him a bit on comprehension and surprisingly he retained all he had read.  He then composed a short paragraph about the first chapter in his book log notebook.
He only misspelled a few words, which we then added to his spelling list notebook as a start for this weeks spelling list.

After Language Arts we had health.  The first unit study is about our bodies so we decided we wanted to measure everyones height, weight, hands and feet.  The kids weights really surprised me!  Anthony is now 38.5 lbs! Anastasia is 28.5 lbs (which is amazing, she's been 23 lbs forever).  David is now 19.5 lbs, so still not quite big enough to turn his car seat around but growing.  Our chunky baby, the only child of ours who has ever had baby fat and rolls, is now 10 lbs!  We figure he'll get super heavy and then stop growing like Anthony did.  I must be making cream this time instead of skim milk!

After Health we had music.  I originally wanted to start with the recorder but I haven't purchased them yet, so we are learning about composers instead.  Today we learned about Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, and will continue to study him for the rest of the week.  This is where our major melt down happened.  After reading a short biography on him I gave Anastasia a coloring page of his face, and Anthony received a word search to complete.  Anthony didn't want the wordsearch, he wanted to color.  Out of 9 words he only found one without help, and 2 with help, before he gave up. Will keep in mind he does not like word searches, but I will still give them to him because I do think they teach valuable skills.

After Health it was time for Spanish, which is computer based.  Anthony wasn't feeling it today and didn't really try, resulting in only getting half correct.  So we will be repeating lesson one for a while.

Next was Science, one of the subjects I'm the most excited about this year.  Today was a really easy day for Science, basically an intro into this years subject and some journaling in his Science Journal followed by adding Vocabulary into his Vocabulary Journal.  Tomorrow we start our first lab using thermometers to show how certain objects conduct heat!

Then we had Social Studies where we just introduced our current unit - Geography.  We learned basic definitions for Latitude and Longitude, identified the on a world map, learned how to read coordinates, and discussed the equator.  I guess he learned a lot of this already by reading one of his encyclopedias, so we flew through this quicker than I thought.

Finally we had Math.  I showed him how to do the word problems, and gave him two sheets to complete.  He flew through them very quickly and got every question correct! I was so proud.

So far things are going smoothly, but today was pretty easy.  On days where Anastasia is more interested we'll be doing a lot of things with her as well which will make things a bit more complicated.  But so far, so good.

Here's Anthony working on his Language Arts journal.

Here's my homeschool shelf, and our dining room with the alphabet posters, and the "Mizzell Money" reward chart (more on that in another post)

And of course, pictures of the kids!  David playing with Charlie's playmat, he can't keep himself off! And David getting into the homeschooling supplies.

Anastasia dancing to her "Get Ready For School" CD
And some of Chunky Charlie Bear.  So cute, so sweet, looks like me, but has little baby rolls!