Saturday, July 16, 2011

Attachment Parenting is not a tool for spoiling!

Earlier this week I encountered a conversation with some friends of a friend that actually surprised me. I suppose I am so use to be surrounded by people who at least can admit that validity in Attachment style Parenting that I'm not used to people completely dismissing it as a form of spoiling.

I'm not speaking ill of methods of parenting, but I do believe whole heartily in the logic with AP and there are numerous studies and research to back it up.

Baby wearing is not "new age". Wearing your children has been around since the dawn of time practically, and nearly every culture has their own ways to do it. Strollers are more new age. The first stroller was invented in the 1700's. Babies were worn long before then. It's not new, and it's doesn't spoil the baby. Studies actual show that a child who is attended to, a child raised in the AP style, tends to be more independent and well adjusted when they grow up. Thats not to say using a stroller will make your child dependent and maladjusted, it's just more in favor for babywearing.

Not all baby wraps and slings are made equal. Snugglie, Baby Bjorn, ect are very bad for baby's spine. The more primitive the carrier the better for baby. Slings, wraps (like Moby's) and soft structured carriers are far better. The ERGO is a good compromise as the baby sits, rather than dangles. Plus the baby is skin to skin with mama where the Baby Bjorn and Snugglie are more in a pouch.

The other comments made were about breastfeeding. It is NOT child molestation to breastfeed your child past the first birthday. The biological age of weaning is between 2 and 7 years of age.

Just because babe can eat food doesn't suddenly make breastmilk unhealthy. I love this quote, " the first six months of breastfeeding are clearly much more important in terms of the baby's nutrition and immunological development than the six months from 3.5 to 4.0 years. That doesn't mean that you shouldn't continue to provide breast milk if your baby wants and you don't mind. It would be like saying, "Well Mabel, we don't get very much income from that oil well anymore. Used to get $56 a month in royalties, now we're lucky if we get $25 a year. Guess we should tell that oil company just to keep their durn money." And Mabel says, in return "Good grief, Clyde, don't be ridiculous. That check still buys $25 worth of food. Where has your mind gone to now?""

Breasts were made to feed our babies. The sexual pleasure some women and men derive from them, are not their first function. Nursing a child is no more sexual than changing their diaper. Anyone who thinks otherwise is the pervert - not the mother nursing. The health benefits to nursing are far to numerous to list, but are undeniable. Nursing a child will not spoil them or make them grow up to be sexual predators.

Whether you are an attached parent or a traditional parent there should be respect for the way other people parent. There also has to be acknowledgment when research and history tells you that something is beneficial and not harmful.


  1. I agree that parents have to respect one another. That's why I would never comment negatively if someone doesn't parent the same way I do. I say I do half attachment parenting. I agree with lots of the philosophy. However, I didn't breastfeed long. I didn't enjoy wearing my babies so I didn't. I heard many nasty comments about this. I do stay home and babies sleep in the bed until they are done with it. It's wrong to criticize someone's choices. I love Dr. Sears.

  2. How rude! What kind of person tells you that breastfeeding a child past the age of one is molestation? WTF Seriously? Was this person a parent? Parent or not, people need to respect each others decisions or at least learn to keep their mouths shut when they vehemently disagree with something that is obviously a very personal choice.

  3. People can be so stupid. If someone thinks that its molestation, they have some serious issues of their own!

  4. Hi, I found your blog through "IHEARTORGANIZING" where you posted ... now this is a completely different topic but I want to say that I carried my daughter a lot (we used a Didymos, as we are located in Germany and it's a German comppany - check out here: and I enjoyed to have my baby so close to me while I had my hands free to do chores in the household. She enjoyed it also!
    AND I breastfed her until she was almost two years old (and then I stopped because I had to take some medication which would've been harmful to her. She was old enough to understand when I explained this to her.) I had to listen to many people (in my family) who asked stupid questions or made rude remarks about that, but WE felt it was right for us so we didn't let others disturb us. My daughter is now 5 years old and will start school next week - she grew up to be a very self-confident and caring girl who I'm very proud of. ;) Although you can of course never tell, I think that carrying and breastfeeding loomed large in her development. However, I also respect parents who don't breastfeed or carry their babies, maybe just because my way was NOT respected and I know that every parent have to find their own way.
    Hope that wasn't too weird (sorry, English is not my native language...)

  5. You are awesome! I know this is an old post, but I finally caught up on the blog when someone reposted the link. :)

    I'm already catching flack for intending to breastfeed until at least 2 years old. Realistically, I'll be pumping a lot more around then (between school schedule and depending on babies need for independence/comfort), but I still think it's important. People look at me like I'm crazy. But, my mother did it and I never saw anything wrong with it, if anything it's the one thing she ever did right by her children.

    I also plan on doing a lot of the same methods in AP, I didn't realize they fell under that when DH and I started talking about how we would parent, it's just what feels right to me. Again, I get weird looks and catch flack for it, but it's what I feel is best for my child and I think that's what matters most. Daddy is 100% on board with it and that's what counts.

    I'm always respectful of other people's parenting styles, I don't tell them that CIO will ruin their child, but I notice they will go on and rant about how I'm going to spoil mine. We all need to respect each other and acknowledge our differences in styles and rather than point the finger or declare ourselves the "best mommy," we should be supporting all mommies.