I watched a Dr. Phil episode this past week that made me super nervous. It showed little newborns going through withdrawal. I got so extremely upset I called my pain clinic doctor immediately and set up an appointment. He had me go in on Friday, and we talked. He told me at the dosage I'm at he's never seen an infant go through withdrawal but if I felt nervous we could attempt to wean me off the medication. I told him I wanted to try - I HAD to try - before we got pregnant again. For the sake of the baby I had to give it a try. So I'm now in the process of coming off my pain meds - he said it would take a few months to wean off which is fine as I suspect it will be a few months before I get pregnant again. I was taking 2 mg of dilaudid 4 times a day with 2 break through pills. I'm now taking 3 pills a day with 2 break throughs. Next month I'll go down to 2 pills a day with 2 break throughs, ect. I went out and bought ACE bandages to bind my elbow and ankle up to try to minimize pain. Even going down one pill has brought the pain back immensely. Luckily, I have one completely pain free arm to work with so thats been helpful.
I'm also, seriously, going to cut out a lot of the pop. It's my only vice. I don't smoke - never have, I don't drink AT ALL, I don't do recreational drugs, the only thing I have when I'm stressed is pop. It's impeding my weight loss though, I've been stuck at 120 lbs for months now. So I am cutting out the pop during the week and only drinking it on the weekend. Seems like not a big step -but it's like a smoker saying they are only going to smoke on the weekends. An addiction is an addiction and I am addicted to pop. I'm also going to be waking up at 5:45 in the morning to get an hour work out in before waking Anthony up to get ready for school. I'm going to seriously hold myself accountable to this - so stay tuned for my daily blog posts about how I'm doing!
"melody," a poem
2 months ago