Saturday, January 23, 2010

All Time Low

I haven't written because I've been in quite a slump the past few weeks.  At my last OB appt I broke down in tears because the pain I've been in has been so severe and debilitating.  My OB was rightfully concerned and put me on a long term prescription of percocet.  I'm not a fan, at all, of any medications - but it's gotten to the point where I can no longer function.  He assured me that Charlie was going to be fine, and maybe even better off because my stress would be down.  He told me that if the percocet didn't work they'd put me on morphine patches.  I know a lot of my EDS friends are on morphine patches and it is not something I want to even think about for many many more years.  I only take a percocet when Chris is home, and the pain is really terrible or I need to get things done.   I can no longer drive as the emergency brake, shifting from drive to reverse or park, and carseats make the pain unbearable.  Turning the steering wheel even dislocates my wrists further.  Its hard to feel like a productive person when you become limited in so many ways.  We are now considering pulling Anthony out of a school we love to transfer him to a school closer by since Chris is having to take him and pick him up.  On Thursday I meet with my new doctor and hopefully he'll know enough about EDS to recommend the surgery.  Otherwise I'm not sure what we'll do.  I've already seen most of the rheumatologist in the area - none have the knowledge to treat me.  I know it's so frustrating for Chris - watching me being so upset and having to take on nearly all the household responsibilities.  I watched, "Mystery Diagnosis", when they featured a lady with EDS.  She reminded me so much of myself.  She's had 40 surgeries to help correct issues, but said that they did help.  I just want the pain to go away, even if I never regain full function again.  I can no longer wear my supportive braces as both wrists are so badly sublexed the braces create a blinding pain as they try to force my wrists into normal position.

I had my Peri appt last week.  Charlie looks good :)  Unfortunately he is already head down and very low - pressing against my cervix.  So now we have to be extra vigilant on contractions and pressure and hopefully avoid pre-term labor issues.

2 comments:

  1. Awwwwww Beth I wish I could just hug you right now. I am sorry you are in so much pain. I've been on a long term percocet treatment (hah.. if you can call it that. :/ ) for cysts and the endo under my ovary and know how it feels awful to only have that as your option. I REALLY hope your new doctor can you more, and that they can help you by fixing whats causing it. :( I can't imagine how you must feel. I want you to know though that I think you are an amazing strong woman, a great mother, and all of that!

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  2. Wow, I don't know what to say. I can't imagine. I hope you find some solution, whether it's surgery or something else. Hugs.

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